Love can be a very hard topic to write about, let alone discuss about it. The four-letter word that has us on a string, prompts us to act inexplicably and messes with our decisions. It is potent at best and disturbing at worst. The different definitions of what love is and why it matters make it compelling to share to people.

As a kid, I recognized love in its primal form… family. My parents, my siblings, my grandparents (which unfortunately – I didn’t get to have a lot of time spent with) and my extended relatives. The comfort and care that’s readily there round-the-clock, 24/7 in all its unconditional glory. Despite running into a few mischievous acts kids normally get into – my parents, while instilling in me a sense of discipline and a little bit of (ahem!) scolding, they’ve always explained to me that what they’re doing comes from a place of good intentions. That straightening me out early in life is a way to keep me well-behaved and avoid becoming a troublemaker growing up. Apart from that, the amount of nurture I get from them are immeasurable especially during sick days. The diligent monitoring of body temperature, making sure that I took my medicines in a timely manner and have eaten my meals… It’s this kind of deep-seated affection that makes me feel better quickly that even medicines sometimes pale in comparison. Through which I can gratefully say, that’s what love is for!


Then came the painful adolescent years (and yes, let’s be honest – adolescence and all it’s raging hormones were always an exceptionally trying stage), where figuring out who I was, what was important to me and trying to fit in, were the usual norm. This is where the role of friends takes a greater slice of the pie when it comes to time and attention. My friends were the consoling force when it comes to coping with adolescent issues like school and getting good grades, personal identity, guys and relationships. We went through these pressures in the same wavelength, carefully treading through the complicated twists and turns of life the way an adolescent does. Friends were there to listen and advise, hang out and laugh with, talk and have fun with. Mind you, the attention and presence they provide is completely beyond leaps and bounds – and that was way before the age of Facebook and other social media what-have-yous. For this, I can say with all honesty, that’s what love is for!



So when maturity knocked, I opened the door with open arms ready to face the next challenges to come. I’m now a grown-up with grown-up problems figuring out some grown-up solutions. But the formula for love is still the same – it never changes, at least, the way I see it. Yet trying to dissect the anatomy of love in a guy’s perspective is no easy feat. Not even a real genius can understand the intricacy and delicateness of love between a guy and a girl in a relationship. It’s a work in progress with little room for success sometimes but enormous room for failure (sad to say!) from time to time. Being in a relationship creates the ultimate balance especially when a guy’s personality complements with mine. It’s like finding the missing part of the puzzle I’ve had trouble sorting out my entire life. The experience of sharing together similar or opposite interests and a deep friendship within the relationship leads to a sense of purpose and fulfilment. It’s almost like being inside a cocoon where both people find belongingness to each other which I think is the most beautiful thing. But then, like all beautiful things, there are beginnings and there are endings. The cocoon starts to break. What used to be similarities between two people becomes a wedge driving them apart. I’ve been here before and it can be quite difficult. Though I’m not one to bash at guys – it does help to put distance and time away from the experience and see it from a different angle. When I started picking up the pieces, I’ve learned to appreciate every moment, bad or good, of the experience. And that’s when I figured, my heart has grown bigger too and next time around, it has so much room for someone who’s more deserving of it. Yes, I can sincerely say from my heart and from my head – that’s what love is for!



So, in the spirit of the month of February and St. Valentine's Day, let love be the centerpiece of our lives at whatever we do, whoever we’re with and whenever time of day, month or year. There’s no truer emotion that makes us more human. And for what it’s worth, that’s what love is for!

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Photos via JD, Joëlle T., Makena Zayle Gadient, Leo Hidalgo